Just argued with my mom again. This suck. Sometimes (almost every time) I don't get why my mom likes to make simple things into big matters. Its not even a big issue. Am just going out with a girl friend to karaoke tomorrow & the plan was that my dad/parents are suppose to drive us both there but had forgotten to tell my mom what time to drive us there tomorrow. So just now just before 12AM, while I was watching tv my mom asked me what time is it tomorrow & why haven't I told her & stuff & as I mentioned before, I told her I forgot. "Its a 1PM tomorrow, can you drive?"

The next thing you know she starts ranting about not telling her earlier & that I never thought that if they were busy (Cause my parents are going some where early tomorrow) & blahblahblah so on. Clearly my patience went off as I was nicely watching tv there & out of the sudden she just chose to start a meaningless argument there. I told her again explaining that "I just forgot so you don't have to get all angry" & she went on blahblahblah & seriously at that time I couldn't care less of what she was saying cause i wanted to watch my show. :/ So I just told her that "If you can't send me its fine I'll just ask my friend to send me!". & then I took the remote & louden the volume.

She went berserk, took the remote & helped louden it some more & asked "Oh so thats what blah3 (can't remember)? Loud enough or not? Now older already getting more kurang ajar! Blahhhhhhetcetcetcetcblahetcblah" & the list goes on.

So you tell me. Am I wrong? Well frankly who cares right? Cause no matter who is right, at the end I'll still have to say sorry. But sometimes I just get so pissed at the fact that somethings so small of a problem, frankly its not even a problem!!, can turn into something so retard like suddenly me being so kurang ajar just BECAUSE I FORGOT TO TELL HER THE TIME.

Note to self:

Its been so long since I last wrote something here. But it still doesn't kill the fact that I have more bad days than ever. I just never got the time & thinking to write it down in words.

Anyway don't know if its a good news or not.. I just graduated from Taylor's University! Woohoo congrats? Thanks if/to anyone who cares anyway. :) Was actually quite happy with it since I got a "Very Honorable Pass" to go with my Certificate of Completion. :))

But truth is, my family did not show any (or if any) good reaction that thought I would at least get? I mean c'mon, your daughter just graduated after 2 long years of hard work, suffering, late night assignments & exams, & I can't even get a single compliment out of you guys? Like a simple "I'm proud of you girl" or "good job" would be so wonderful you know. I'm not even asking for much.

First thing that came out of my mom's mouth was just "Oh then you should start looking for jobs on the internet already". That's it mom? Like really? She some more can say "then what do you want me to say?" Mann my mind straight away went blank. Words couldn't even describe how I feel at that moment. I feel like all of my hard work just went to waste. Like what was my purpose of studying hard & trying to get good grades, always attending classes when I could just easily lie & skipp classes like the rest of my classmates if this is the ending that I was gonna get. Why would I go through all that trouble when I could just easily get a pass & my diploma & get a job.

I should have known better if not I wouldn't have wasted my 2 years trying so hard to survive in college if I could have just simply get the cert & go off. Clearly nobody in my house cares since NONE of them even care to look at my certificate. Not even one of them touch it. & now its just sitting there on my room floor. I think I'm just gonna put it aside & bury it or something. Maybe someday went SOMEBODY finally asked I'll probably dig it back out again.

My best friend was the only one who called & actually congratulate me that night & I truly appreciate her effort. Thanks girl you're the best. :') & my sister as well for congratulating me on msn. Thanks for remembering sis. :)

& well I'm happy to say that I still haven't shed a tear about this issue yet cause again I don't see the point since no one cares about me right? & oh am not in talking terms with my family now. Mainly my mom cause apparently she is throwing a face about my 'attitude' & she still doesn't quite know why am I showing face to the family but you know what? I just don't feel like talking to them cause I feel like theres nothing much to talk about with them. Is that my fault for feeling that way since I don't feel appreciated? Yes? Fine cause either way I'm still not gonna talk to them. I mean I am but just not the cheerful way anymore. I can't find a way for me to be like the old self now & I think that its best to just remain silent since that way I won't be getting in to trouble for saying something they don't like or might not like to hear anyway.

Aite thats all for now. Good enough I feel slightly better now after typing this down. Cya! :)

Oh yea & here's my certificate.

I'm so fucking pissed off right now. Sometimes I feel like it I should really push myself to learn how to drive on the road, since I have a driving license but the fear of driving is still in me. But this is the time of the moment when I feel like I should have been more brave so that i could just drive out of here & runaway when I'm feeling like this. But whattheheck I'm still stuck here writing this down instead right? Righttt..

& to think I used to feel sorta sorry for my friend who was always restrain from doing this & doing that from everybody around here. Damn no freedom mann.. I always thought that I was having a better off life that hers. Who would have thought I myself is in this situation now. Damn I hate my life. Can't even do the things I like. & the worse part is its not even a bad thing like omfg! What's wrong with that?

I don't even feel like talking to you guys at this point. But mainly you. May be I'll just ignore you for a week or so. Or as long as I can live. I don't feel sharing anything anymore. That's how bad I feel like right now. Thanks for making it clear to me today. You've done good. & don't pass any questions to me from other people expecting an answer. I won't entertain those anymore. I'm dead serious.

Finally changed my blogskin!

Like my new look? Well I personally think its rather simply. Not really something I would normally pick cause its not really that colorful but at least it looks clean & neat now right?

So with a new blog look I'm gonna start a new chapter in my life. Forget all the past sorrow. Since I'm so forgetful I should move on quite fast right? Will be trying to come in here more often since I don't wanna abandon this blog again like I always do. =="

Gonna head back to my hometown tomorrow morning. Whoopie~ Can't wait. ^^

Signing off for now,

I don't care I don't care I don't care.
I don't want to care. Though I wish to care. But I just couldn't care less.
Fine. If this is how you want it to be. You won. Congrats.
*Applause*

You taught me to be cruel. & now I'm learning to be cruel. To adapt to the situation you force me into. Whatever you told me today just got absorbed to my mind like beautiful lies. & I can't deny I can't help but to just give in to your smile the moment I see you. But now thinking back logically, it just isn't right for me to still go on like this. Funny how one smile can make me not think clearly.

Anyway, life still has to go on & I'm still alive. I'll try to survive resisting the urge to look for you. Forcing myself to think about nothing. Nothing at all. But ignorance is difficult to do though. & I'm not sure of what I'll do the next time I see you. But since I think you're avoiding me, it's not exactly hard for me to walk around freely there.

May be I should just start looking for another. Any bachelors around that I should know of? I'll try scouting for some. In the meantime, forget you games, cause I'm not playing anymore.

Yea. So I went out yesterday to met up with a friend I've known from back when I was in National Service. I haven't seen him for like a year plus. Not seldom text or even talk so I thought it was kinda cool to meet up since he was coming over to Pyramid.

The fear of going back or stepping in to Pyramid was so scary cause I'm scare that I might bump into him. Then again it would be a good idea since its not like I can contact or see him now.

Anyway I met up friend & his cousin at McD at around 1 o'clock. He was actually invited by his cousin who went to Pyramid to celebrate his friends birthday. Originally I thought Wilson & I was just gonna walk off & go our separate place but who knew we were gonna watch a movie with a bunch of kids that I have no idea who they were!

There were 20 people including me & him. & both of us were the eldest. But it all turned out okay I guess. I wouldn't say I had a fun time though. Cause the whole time I wasn't in my right mind. Every few moments of silence I would think about him. I'm sorry if I bore you with my gloomy mood Wilson. Hope you still had a good time with me ya.. =)


Bought this at some Japanese fair selling lots of Jap snacks. Yea I know, you'll probably be wondering "Hey you don't eat sweets or snacks one what!". But I just feel like buying something cute to make me feel better. All of it cost RM14.80.

Hmm watched a movie later with the whole bunch at 5.30pm so me, Wilson & his cousin, Hong lepaked awhile, chitchatted & stuffed. Went home straight after the movie at around 7pm. Ate with my family, & finally got back home safely.

All in all, I'm just trying to say, thought I went out today, got to know a lot of new friends, being with the family, acting like I'm okay, the truth is, I'M NOT OKAY. & as I'm typing this down, I can't help but cry as tears are slowly rolling down my cheeks.

Sure, I'm just trying to make myself busy, giving myself things to do in order to get you out of my mind. But I can't seem to succeed. & you know why? Cause I don't want to. Part of me just don't want to let you go. & I know, you probably think that I'm a pathetic loser & just a despo trying so hard to move on but can't because of you.

Well maybe I am. & I'm ready to admit the fact that I still miss you a lot. Really a lot. I tried to make myself feel better. But nothing is working. Cause I know I'll still be seeing you in the future. & to have the thought of seeing you with another girl in your arms just tears me up apart.

How could you do this to me? What went wrong between us? Could you at least give me an explanation to why you are treating me like this? Do you know that you're making me feel like I'm a piece of crap? Am I that annoying to you that you can just ignore me completely? How could you just shut me out of your life like that? Have I not mean anything to you? Not replying my text, not picking up my call. Don't be like that can you? Just suck it up & be a man about it.

I know, I know you probably have another girl in you life. But you still have to tell me about it so that I can truly let you go. Don't be a jerk & leave me hanging & waiting for something that just wouldn't appreciate me.

The most hurtful thing of all that you could do to me is by telling me everything that you use to tell me. Everything that you've once said to me is still freshly stuck in my mind. & I refuse to believe that all of those were lies. Because I believed you. I trusted you. I really cared about you.

You were the one who opened up my heart. So why are you the one who choose to just let me go now? Why can you have the choice to just leave me whenever you want to? Who gave you the right to make a choice? Why don't I have one? Why are you controlling me?

You said you won't ever leave me down dar..
You said it. All the things you told me. All of what you've promised me. I will never erase that from my heart. Though I know I should let you go. You know you're still the one I will always hold on to. & I hope you know what you've done to me. I don't want you to feel guilty cause I don't want your sympathy. All I want is just for you to realize that the one you fall for is still unchanged. I'm still here waiting for you to come back to me.

If you think you've won for trying to play me, then I guess you did.

I still want you in my life. Please come back to me. I don't want our past to be a memory. I want to look forward to our future together.

Don't Leave me in all these pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back & bring back my smile
Come & take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me

Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
& walked out of my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart

Take back that sad word goodbye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come & kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
& life is so cruel without you here beside me

Went to Aquaria KLCC on Friday as a class trip for an English assignment. Haha exactly the same trip for the same subject I went when I was ending my form 5. Funny.. I suggested the place some more lol.

Went there by train straight after class with the lec. Anyway not gonna blab much. Pictures anyone?

On the train.



In KLCC.




Cute little buggers..








Camwhoring session eventually started lol..





Honey :: Judy

Good lord.. Excuse the siao girl please.


Using self timer with my Baby~♥
Honey :: Judy :: Joe :: Miss Kavitha :: Faris


After the class was over our class just went our separate ways. Most of them went back but Grace got Judy & me convinced to stay longer to try out the Fish Spa cause it was like fkin cheap compared to what Pyramid is charging. Hey RM20 for 30 minutes kay! WhattheF.. But no big fishes or what. Just normal sized fish so its like kinda potong syok for me. =_=" But nonetheless I had fun haha.. Some more it was kinda enjoying to see them both cause they haven't tried it before. =)




& after all the whohaa was over Grace wanted to shop so we walked through the park to get to Suria KLCC.




& got ourselves a free manicure from Maxis later cause they were having some roadshow promoting Iphone.

Anyway that's all for now. Lazy to type more already. Sayonara =)

Had a fun day today. Feels like I'm already in my birthday girl mood though my birthday is not today. =D

But I've been a bad bad girl. Was suppose to be studying but then dad's monitor went kaput so he was planning on going to Low Yat to get himself a new one. Thus me & mom decided to tag along. Ended up I was spending like mad. But all on cheap stuffs though. You know me. =D

Well not gonna upload any pictures now. Going to bed. I'm tired. Shall update more tomorrow.. Nights!

Alright. As I promise, I'll update the second part of the wedding dinner pictures when I'm not feeling lazy. So here they are. Enjoy..

10th July :: Ipoh


Sedap gila babi wan tan mee but small portion like hell. Look at the size of the plate lol..

Nice nice~!

That night.


See the group of people gathered at the back?



The gambling crew.

11th July : The next day, lunchtime



The gambling crew again. They were there from noon to evening. Then went back to shower & take money then back again at night for the buffet dinner at our house. One word, hebat.. =_="

The buffet dinner that night.


Lil' Jamie :: ...Cutie =)



As usual..


My second uncle got drunk pretty badly & eventually vomited. My grandma & mom had to clean up a lot after that mess. I helped out as well haha..



The groom also almost vomited. But at the end he didn't cause my aunt took very good care of him. Aww.. =)

12th July :: Back to KL

Woke up early for breakfast & was stoning the whole time just waiting to go back.



Fatty.




Don't know what plant is this. Forgot to ask my grandma. =)

Ate something good for dinner before heading back.



Awesome!♥



Its like a mini jungle in that shop. & they just moved next to that. Haha cool.. =)

Back to coll..

Judy :: Chubby :: Jihan

Byes!

I need a heart. Read me before I rust.

The Robot.

Date of Manufacture.

Product: Honey
Since: 19 years and counting..
Type: Aluminium
Brand: Dreamland Pte Ltd
Is a: Rusting tin

Nutrition Facts.

☺ to have someone I could call mine
☺ Nokia N97 (Pink!), Release June, 2009
☺ to meet Jay again
☺ to have a new wardrobe
☺ to collect stickers!
☺ MASCARAS and lip glosses
☺ to own a pet
☺ to have an unlimited flow of money

Date of Expiry.

☻ to be lied
☻ to be FOOLed
☻ Show-offs
☻ to be annoyed
☻ PEOPLE STEALING ANY OF MY PICTURES*

Upgrades.

♠ to survive college life
♥ to be loved <3
♣ to have more shoes!
♦ to be less lazy =_="

Hearts Counted.

Talk.

Shoo.

♥ My Friendster ♥
Mori-chan ♥
Kat

Radio Box.

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Thanks.

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